6 Confidence Tricks That Work For Me

6 simple confidence tricks that will help you start a new career, by Helen Perry, Not About The Kids

Sitting down to write this post, it’s harder than I expect to cast my mind back 12 months and feel exactly what I was feeling then. Not About The Kids wasn’t even a twinkle in my eye. I had been at home taking care of the house and kids for seven years, very happily, but always with my mind on what I was going to do next. And my mind buzzed all over the place. I considered interior design, upholstery and taking a law degree. I thought about setting up an events company or getting into marketing. I looked at retail, teaching and going back to my old job in the media. But something about being a full-time mum had gnawed away at my confidence, and all of these grand plans never went further than a Google search.

Stuck

Whatever the idea, I seemed unable to move forward, quickly finding reasons why it would impossible to manage around the kids, or that I just wasn’t up to it. I told myself that while for the past 7 years everyone else had been moving forward with their careers, I’d fallen into a parenting black hole. When I people asked me what I did, I would often reply “oh nothing, I’m just at home…“.

Now though, I don’t feel this way anymore. Even if this blog didn’t exist, I would answer the full-time mum question differently. What changed? It started when I did some life and career coaching with the lovely Stephanie Smith who has helped me to write this post. We’ve each come up with our top 3 confidence tricks. They are so simple it makes me smile. If only I’d known sooner.

Confidence tricks if you would lke to build a new career, by Helen Perry, Not About The Kids

First, my top 3 

Find the value in what you already do

This was BIG for me. The day that I realised that I had actually been working all the time the time I thought I wasn’t working was a revelation.

Once I sat down and listed my mum-skills I realised that for the best part of a decade, I’d been managing a household, scheduling, caring for and meeting the changing needs of everyone in the family. I’d been maintaining our home and social life, and educating two kids. As a co-chair of our school’s PTA I helped to organise events for hundreds of people. We virtually doubled the charity’s profit and I launched an online booking system.

It turns out I hadn’t actually fallen into a black hole after all. Mary Berry is a hero of mine. She has always, always seen the value in her skills, and monetised them from a very young age. We should all be more Mary (another blog post for another day).

Start

If I was going to get a tattoo would say Just Start. My friend said it to me a year ago and it resonated then, and it resonates more now. Take one small step and see where it gets you. You don’t need to know exactly where we are going. I launched Not About The Kids with just the vaguest idea of how it could become a small business.

These are the small things that I did, and everything else followed. I booked 5 coaching sessions, I went on a 3-hour how-to-do-Instagram course, and I bought a domain name for my blog. If I had never started, I would not know what I do today, or what I will know a year from now.

If you are interested in getting Instagram working for you, click here to read my beginner’s guide.

Invest in yourself

I had wondered whether career coaching would help me for years before I booked a session. Years. But I never did anything about it because it seemed like an unjustifiable expense.

Finally taking that step and spending the money was liberating. It’s ok to invest in yourself. All I do to square it off is make sure it is money well spent. In every course or training I take, I do the reading, the homework and try to apply whatever I had learnt.

Maybe money is not the investment, maybe that’s not possible for you, but time could be. Allow yourself to carve out a bit of time just because you want to pursue something.

And here is Stephanie and her top 3 confidence boosters

Stephanie Smith, Career coach

You are you

Even if your career has been taking a back seat, you are still the same person. You may feel completely different but you still have the strengths, experience and characteristics you had while you were at work. You have not been static while you’ve been away. You will have added loads of things to your skills and experience. Actually, calling it a career break isn’t helpful because it implies you’ve stopped working for a while whereas, in fact, you’ve been working harder than ever – just not getting paid for it or holidays or sick leave!

Get into your uncomfortable zone

Comfort zones can feel uncomfortable. In fact, they can feel smothering. So although it feels scary to think about stepping out of your carefully balanced comfort zone, it’s pretty unlikely that the sky will fall or your children will end up destitute. Remember, kids are continually changing as they grow up which is why they are usually way more adaptable than we are.

Take action (this is Stephanie’s Just Start)

Take action. Taking action, however small, is the best way to overcome the inertia we experience when our confidence is low. Think about the tiniest thing you can do towards getting to where you want to be. It can feel like such a BIG thing we’re doing; to the point that we scare ourselves in to not doing anything. Stop thinking about THE thing and think about A thing. It could just be researching a course and then booking it. Each time you do something, no matter how small, and it works or is enjoyable you are learning that things are OK and that the worst hasn’t happened.

This is the like to Stephanie’s website.

I’d love to know what you think, comment in the box at the bottom of the page and we can chat.

I’ve written more about how coaching helped to change the negative conversation in my head, you can read that post HERE.

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6 Simple Confidence Tricks, how to get your mojo back after years as a full-time mum

 

 

What's your View?

10 comments on “6 Confidence Tricks That Work For Me

  1. Scarlett on

    Hi Helen,
    Getting started IS the hardest thing. Even when you’re in full-time work, it’s easy to lose your mojo, especially when the kids are all growing up, you’re getting older and the dynamics around you start to change. And blogging can be a very lonely affair when you start. But the hard work pays dividends. And look at you now! You’ve done tremendously well in such a short space of time. I look forward to seeing where you go, Helen (I’ll be right behind you!)
    Scarlett

    Reply
    • @not_about_the_kids2017 on

      Ah thank you, Scarlett, it really has been great to get to know you and have your support. Social media has allowed me to connect with people who are doing a similar thing making it slightly less lonely. You make a good point about full-time work, in truth, anyone in any circumstances can lose sight of their worth from time to time. Hx

      Reply
  2. @not_about_the_kids2017 on

    Ah thank you very much, Fiona, I’m really happy if you (or anyone) take something away from it. Really appreciate you stopping by for a read. Helen

    Reply
  3. Tracey Johnston (StylingandSmiling) on

    Firstly congratulations for taking the leap of faith, so brave. So happy that your hard work is paying off. What a fabulous blog!! Very informative & interesting to read. Your story is very inspirational. Thanks for all the tips, I am bookmarking them, to read more in depth when I have free time to myself to digest it all. Thanks again.

    Reply
    • @not_about_the_kids2017 on

      Hi Tracey, thank you, but I’m not sure that it felt brave….more necessary for my own sanity. I’m not getting everything right, far from it, but am learning every day. I am very grateful for all of the fabulous, supportive people that I have met along the way. Thank you so very much for reading. Hx

      Reply
  4. Ruth martin on

    Loved reading this! When I’m asked what I do I’m always flummoxed with an answer and down play everything I do! I’m going to plan an answer now! Please ask me what I do next time we have time to chat!!! Xxxx I love what you write Helen, always do relevant to me xxx

    Reply
    • @not_about_the_kids2017 on

      Ruth, it’s simple, you have a small business making your very own and very lovely candles! Perhaps a good subject for our masterminds meeting, if we can ever manage to get another one in the diary. Thank you so much for popping by the blog, have a great summer. Hxx

      Reply

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